I do not see myself in that sort of light until he open's the mouth and reminds me that's what he see's. Is that bad that I don't realize that about myself? Am I really like that, because honestly when he says the stuff I don't feel like i'm being how he seem's to see me being. So there is some confusion and frustration there.
I do not understand why i'm having such a hard time getting over whatever this negativity is in my life. Sure the holiday season is stressed by a broke mother always complaining about her ailments (hm, maybe I am how Rob says I am if i'm anything like my mother), and the fact it's our first holiday without my dad and then I feel bad for not having called his wife on Thanksgiving and then wondering if I should call on Christmas though I'm not sure i'd know what to talk about aside from how much we miss my dad, which will just make the holiday even more depressing.
I'm surely trying to make this first year without my dad a good one. I've taken back up on my knitting and am making gifts as well as taking a hand at hand sewing gifts for my younger nephews. I'm pretty pumped by those accomplishments and have high hopes for my knitting this next year.
So where does one start to improve their negative mood and make it a happy one? Avoiding all the negative that keeps jumping around my life is a bit hard to avoid to look at with positive eyes sometimes. I need a little help with some positive mentality those days. I really really really want to be happy 24/7. Come on, that's not to hard to ask right? lol Be realistic? Why? :p
So aside from the blah in my life here's the fun things i've been doing, one day at a time with the little joys, right?
So we live in epicly hot state. But we still get enjoy some snow, even if it's fake. Base had a holiday event where they had 2 big snow pits and a skating rink followed by santa. Mannix is still a tad young to get into the festivities like that but I brought him to play with
fake snow. He wasn't super amazed. His highlight was chomping on a santa cookie.
He helped decorate the tree with me. Or at least I led him to believe he was helping. That garland is nowhere on our tree this year....
My kid is gaining a fascination with placing his bottle in random spots.
And my fingers are going wild with the needles. My mother-in-law asked what I wanted for Christmas. It was a hard decision as I haven't been treating myself to anything pretty much since having Mannix. So after thinking on it while I got my 2 hour solo knit time at the coffee shop last weekend that I wanted these suckers! http://www.knitpicks.com/needles/Options_Interchangeable_Nickel_Plated_Circular_Knitting_Needle_Set__D90335.html
All I knit with are my circulars anyways and plan to give my MIL my straights. And I don't have a complete range of circulars yet so I figured that would be an awesome treat to me. We'll see if that's what I get :)
This lovely pattern was easier than it looks. The fabric is Knit Picks Shine Worsted. I had bought this ages ago with intention of knitting my brother a scarf. Yea I make a lot of craft promises I forget about and don't do. I'm sure he forgot by now so won't be hurt that i'm redirecting the use of this yarn. I'll tell you after Christmas what this is as it's a gift for someone. But oh so soft and I think i'm gaining a new love for Knit Picks yarns. I ordered a butt load of one kind during their holiday sale with intentions of putting myself through this beautiful hell again....
The forever blanket below that I started after knitting my Dad's chemo blanket. I really wanted to have this made for my mom 2 Christmas ago. Life happened but I finally finished it so she'll be getting it this year.
I'm taking my hand at fleece monster. Most of my materials were fabrics I had or stuff I found at the thrift store. All the stuff for the felt eyes/mouth and the batting were from the thrift store. This particular monsters body was a big blanket I got for $2. I can get a few monsters out of it. I made 2 monsters with intentions of them both being part of the gifts I want to give but I realized there were some things I had to figure out about making a stuff animal thing. So I think after the first 2 I am not good to go. I gave the first 2 to Mannix but he keeps trying to eat the button eyes on this one..one lesson in the process learned. No button eyes for the young kids. I should have known that but I figured these were huge, kids don't care what size they will still try to eat anything that would remotely fit in their mouths.
Food world..Yummy. This meal was hearty as heck. I looooved it and will definitly be making this again before winter's over. http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2008/03/vegetarian-cassoulet/
I don't need to buy bread crumbs anymore. I found a purpose for the butt ends of our bread loaves. I just shove them in a bag in the freezer as we get through each loaf and then when the bags full I bake them and make crumbs with them. I got about 4 cups worth this time around.
Oh yea...i'm still not missing Facebook. Look at all the crap I got done without it in my life! ^^
I will make 2014 a good year. Once we are past the 1 year anniversary of my dad's passing.